


Lets talk about sex baby

by RainbowsandSparkles



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Demisexual Neil Josten, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, a lot of thoughts about sex but none actually happens, aro/ace kevin, none sexual sex thoughts, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29952561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowsandSparkles/pseuds/RainbowsandSparkles
Summary: The foxes all gather for their biannual catch up in which sex is discussed. Neil then has a lot of thoughts about the whole thing and Andrew and Neil talk.(really bad summary wow)
Relationships: Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose
Kudos: 100





	Lets talk about sex baby

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly hi! this is probably slightly terrible I will admit its not my favourite thing I've written but I've kind of had this idea floating round my head for a while and kind of thought Neil and Andrew were the best pair for it and hopefully its slightly entertaining  
> Also sorry for any errors I made to do with the foxes history I could not be bothered to check it so just assume everythings accurate thank you.  
> This is also set in a world in which andriel have yet to give blowjobs and handjobs and they're just content vibing.  
> Also sorry if Nicky comes off as the bad guy here but someone had to say the bad things. 
> 
> One last very important thing yall are valid no matter your sexuality/ gender and yall are also valid if you don't want sex regardless of the reason.

It starts off like this: the foxes all down at Matt and Dan’s house, because that had managed to become the hang out place when their schedules finally lined up (about twice a year), talking about sex.

Renee is perched on Allison’s lap who somehow managed to get one hand wrapped around her waist and the other buried in Neil’s hair who’s sat cross legged on the floor beneath them. Erik and Nicky take up the other end of the sofa- or mainly Nicky- Erik has tried to make himself as small as possible against the one end probably in the hopes that if he presses close enough he’ll become part of the sofa. Dan and Matt are squished together on a worn- down armchair bodies so entangled Neil would have a hard time telling them apart. Kevin sits the wrong way up on the other armchair leaving Aaron and Kaitlyn to sit, if not rather reluctantly, on Neil’s other side. Well, reluctant for Aaron, much to Aaron’s and Andrew’s distaste, Kaitlyn and Neil had bonded over the past few years. 

Andrew is nowhere to be seen. Neil suspects he’s gone out to smoke and is tempted to join him but something about the conversation makes him linger.

“So, we all know about those awful terrible first times but when was the first time that the sex was actually good?” It’s Allison, of course.

Nicky jumps in because he’s Nicky and has absolutely no qualms about sharing his entire sexual history with anyone who will listen, “Well I wish I could be all romantic here and say that it was a time with my husband, but it was actually back when my parents sent me to one of those conversion camps and this lovely boy was giving me eyes for weeks until he finally made a move and God, he was good. I still think about him sometimes.”

“Thanks for that mental note, darling.” Erik actually looked rather unbothered by the whole thing, but Nicky leaped to defend their apparently wonderful, _absolutely the best no one can fuck me like you can_ sex anyway. Neil thought that maybe that was Erik’s plan.

“My first time with a girl.” To everyone’s surprise Renee was speaking up. “It was getting to the point that I thought sex was just bad and overrated but then I had sex with a girl- no I’m not getting into detail,” she glared at Allison before she could even ask, “And then I realised that I’m actually just a huge lesbian.”

The group laughed. Except for Neil. Well, maybe he did, he tried to at least but he couldn’t help but focus on part of what Renee said _I thought sex was just bad and overrated_ because for a second Neil thought someone finally got what he got. But then apparently not.

The thing is, Neil assumes, has always assumed, that sex is never as good as people say it is. In fact, he was convinced that everyone was lying about how good it is (and to a further extent how attractive everyone is) because they thought that that was what you were meant to do. But here he was, sat in a room full of people he trusts the most, who rarely, if ever, lie to him, raving about how good getting your back blown out was.

Sex, surely, isn’t as good as it was made out to be because nothing ever is. Sex is that guy you stay with because you’ve convinced yourself he’s the same guy as the one you made up in your head it just needs _time_. Sex is like that crappy second film you watch that leaves you shallow and open and _sad_ because it wasn’t what you thought it could be and you don’t know why you thought it would be. Sex is the KFC meal you order after debating whether or not to spend two quid on the delivery fee because no matter how much you’re craving it you know it won’t be as good as it is in your head.

But maybe he’s the only one that thinks that.

He’s not opposed to it he doesn’t think, hell he would maybe want to try it just to see if he likes it but he’s just never really thought about it that much. And maybe he wants to try it just to prove that he can, and a little to prove that he was right. Like when you spend that two pound on delivery just so you can say without a doubt that you were right.

Neil’s unaware of how long he’s been zoned out for, he only zones back in because Andrew walks back into the room (even when he’s trying to go unnoticed Neil always notices him) and he guesses it must have been a solid five minutes if he goes by how many cigarettes Andrew must have smoked due to stress and the correlation of how fast he must have smoked them also due to stress. And they’re _still_ talking about sex. Christ, Neil has planned escape routes and travels across countries quicker than this, surely it cannot go on any longer how it is this interesting?

“I just don’t know how you can have a relationship and not have sex. Like it’s so great and to be close and intimate with your partner is just a whole other level. Not having sex it’s- it’s like eating ice cream without sprinkles- possible but unthinkable.” It’s Nicky again and Neil feels something inside of him shift and sink.

He can’t look at anyone. He can’t look at Andrew. Neil likes plain ice cream, sprinkles are a faff and a waste of money and to be quite frank if you wanted exciting ice cream just _buy_ a better flavour, and maybe he likes plain ice cream in the metaphorical sense as well. It’s not unthinkable. Not in Neil’s head anyway it’s just what he and Andrew have and it’s good and it’s theirs and it’s not vanilla ice cream it’s chocolate caramel with brownie chunks, its raspberry pavlova, its mint choc chip. There’s just no sprinkles. He never thought sprinkles made a difference before but what if they do and he’s the only one that thinks they don’t and what if Andrew wants sprinkles and what if one day he gets bored of his sprinkleless ice cream and dumps him to get sprinkles from someone else but then to reduce their relationship to a metaphor about ice cream and sprinkles seems too small because their relationship isn’t a matter of sprinkles and ice cream its more it’s always been more but what if at that very same time it’s not enough. What if Neil’s not enough?

“What do you think Kevin?” Nicky asks (because Kevin too has been awfully quiet, and Nicky’s been trying better to include people) at the same time that Neil is about to bolt from the room because he just can’t be here anymore and a second before Andrew puts a firm hand on the back of his neck and whispers ‘Junkie’ in his ear.

Kevin looks over at Nicky and stares. “I think sex is like love, everyone’s convinced themselves they need it to feel whole.” And then flips, somehow gracefully, off the chair and walks out of the room.

Neil considers himself a shell of a man, nothing can make him ever feel truly whole, not love, not even Andrew (though he comes close) and so sex won’t either apparently. Something shifts in Neil again, but this time settles and maybe, just maybe he can breathe a little easier.

\-----

“What if I can never give it to you?” Andrew says as he slips into bed besides Neil that night. Sex he means though he doesn’t say it. The trouble about being understood so deeply; the way Neil understands Andrew and Andrew understands Neil; is dealing with the terrifying ordeal of being known. So, Neil had known that this conversation had been flouting around the others head just like Andrew knew it was flouting around his without it really needing to be said.

“I don’t care.” Neil doesn’t lie- well that in itself is a lie- but he doesn’t lie to Andrew and _if_ he does, he knows full well that Andrew knows when he’s lying. Except-

“You might. You don’t know that you won’t always.”

To be fair to Andrew Neil hadn’t swung before he came into the picture but that still doesn’t give him the authority to say he might change his mind. This is just like those adults that go round at parties asking _when_ you’re having kids and when you say you don’t want them; they say _you will one day you will change your mind_ as if having kids is some sort of requirement. Of course, Neil had never experienced that but from the stories Dan and Matt told he assumed it was quite annoying and just like this.

And further to that Neil hasn’t quite figured out who he is yet, what he likes more accurately, and he doesn’t really know how to have that conversation yet. Sure, he thinks about sex sometimes in that weird distant way one thinks about something that feels abstract to them and maybe he thinks about it with Andrew every now and then but it’s not really something he craves and its definitely something he can live without.

He tells Andrew as much.

“What if one day you wake up and you decide you can’t live without sex? What then?”

Neil really tries to fight the urge to eyeroll, really, he does. Sure, maybe one day in some weird distant parallel universe Neil will wake up with this urge that apparently everyone has, and he’ll want sex but even if he wants it he doesn’t care if he doesn’t get it there’s a range of sex toys that can do better than any man ever could (at least according to Allison). And this is all based on a bloody hypothetical anyway.

“Hypotheticals darling.”

Andrew doesn’t even try to hide his eyeroll. “Do you want it now?”

And Neil pauses. Because no, not really but to say so feels like a lie but to say he does is a lie. “I want it,” He pauses again mulling over his word choice, “I want it the same way you want to stick your hand in a blender.”

Andrew huffs. “Sex is nothing like putting your hand in a blender.”

Perhaps it’s not equally comparable- putting your hand in a blender is almost always going to feel bad and sex apparently isn’t and for the blender the pain is the most alluring part (how much would it actually hurt? Could I take it?)- but its similar in the ways that matter. Neil doesn’t actively want to put his hand in a blender (he’s not that much of a psychopath) but when ones just sat there innocent with its spinning blades, he thinks momentarily that he should try it (shoving his hand in the blender that is, not having sex with it (though that wouldn’t be worse it’d just be harder to explain)) but then the blender stops whirring and the thoughts are gone.

“Why do you care?” He says instead. They’re on about sex again. Not blenders.

Silence plays out between them and Andrews got that fucking look on his face the one that screams _don’t make me spell it out for you stupid_ because apparently the answers obvious even though it’s not.

Fortunately, Neil’s played this stare down game before and he’s not about to back down now. And when Andrew rolls his eyes (again) Neil celebrates quietly in his head.

“You’ll break up with me.” He says slowly, deliberately, and so fucking sure that Neil wants to punch him.

“Do not tell me what I will or will not do.” It comes out far angrier than intended. Or maybe it doesn’t because Neil is fucking angry. How dare Andrew tell him what the fuck he’s going to do like he’s some predictable nitwit. How dare he say shit when he’s the one person who was never meant to expect anything from Neil and come to think of it Neil’s pretty fucking pissed off with the fact that Andrew _expects_ him to want sex just like everyone else except Andrew was meant to be different. And how dare he not believe him when he said it doesn’t matter- Andrew should have believed him straight away and this conversation should have been burned and they should be cuddling right now discussing their escape route from the court if there was a zombie apocalypse that hit them when they were practising (likely given the amount of time they spend there)- but instead Andrew decided that today was the day that he decided to just stop believing Neil like that was something you could just turn on and off because Neil sure as can’t and maybe that’s the problem because maybe everyone has some fucking switch that they can flick however fucking much they want and Neil’s the fucked up one with the broken fucking switch and he can’t fucking fix it no matter how much he tries.

He’s about to say all this with raging clarity when it suddenly hits him that Andrew is sad _._ He thinks Neil will break up with him (because apparently not wanting sex is a more valid reason to break up with someone than someone putting your life in danger because their dads in the fucking mafia) and he wants to save himself the heartbreak now. Fucking idiot.

“Andrew bloody Joseph Minyard you absolute utter wanker.” It comes off very endearing. “I don’t care. I told you. I don’t care about sex I never have, I never will and if you cannot give it to me, I do not care I’m not going to break up with you for not having sex what a trivial fucking thing. I don’t care if Nicky needs to get railed twice a week for his relationship to mean anything. I don’t care if other people think what we have is any less real because we don’t. I don’t care. What we have is more than ice cream and fucking sprinkles.” Neil takes Andrews face in his hands. “I care about you, Andrew, only ever you.”

The staring competition is much more entertaining when Andrews trying not to blush.

“And,” Neil smiles just to get Andrew really worked up, “If you ever assume something about me again, well, let’s just say the others will never find your body.”

Neil cackles as Andrew shoves him away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope it didn't totally suck


End file.
